But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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