he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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