I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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