He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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