Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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