I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
