I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
