I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
