Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
not ubering you a puppy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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