Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
