good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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