so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
