Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
