wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
