Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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