You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
