Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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