I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
