Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
