My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize