Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
