Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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