You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize