at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
