I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
