I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
