My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
