Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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