apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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