Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he laminated a picture of his dick.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize