Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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