i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
