I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize