So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
