sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
