I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
