You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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