oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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