I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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