I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
