That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
