so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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