I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize