Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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