I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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