Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
