This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
