We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
