you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
