fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We left the knife in your bed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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