hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She's the barista slut.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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