Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
