as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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