He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
