You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
