they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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