watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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