I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
