even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
