we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
