You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize