You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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