She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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