Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
