Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i now understand why vodka
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
