what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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