He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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