New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
