This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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